Half of my family idenfities exclusively as Taiwanese. The other half exclusively as Chinese. Usually, this isn’t a problem because family’s just family. But when

• the US media hypes up Taiwan-China conflict as an excuse to meddle in the Pacific,
• the US Congress can’t agree on anything except that China is the enemy, and
• White Americans shoot up East Asian businesses

Well, that stresses me the fuck out.

I call these feelings ‘war anxiety’ – the dread I feel when people stare at me on public transit, the rage when my liberal democrat in-laws buy in to anti-China war propaganda, the grief I feel when Chinese apologists make light of missile threats on Taiwan, the despair when Taiwanese Americans insist that they are more deserving and better stock than other Asian Americans.

To document and process these feelings, I intend to blog a bit about Taiwan and China this year. This is an issue with many faces and layers. I’ve already muddled up some of them by hopping back and forth between “Taiwan vs China” and “US vs China”. This is because my goal in writing is not to analyze, dissect or recommend solutions to the issue. Instead, I would like to provide perspective, uncover complexities, and show how we are connected in ways we had not realized.

If I have learned anything from embodying this conflict for over 30 years, it is that there is no neutral position. Neutrality is an illusion like Western objectivity. You are always taking sides.

I hope these blog posts help you better understand which sides¹ you are on.

Footnotes